Cast: Me 29F, my oldest sister V 45F, my middle sister K 43F, my niece A 23F, my nephew C and his fiancé L (26). Background: My nephew is getting married in August. The wedding venue allows 50 guests but our immediate family (my mom, sisters and all the grandkids) is a small group so it was assumed everyone was invited. This past weekend, I threw my mom a retirement party. I posted elsewhere about this incident but long story short, V was supposed to help with decorations, proceeded to tell me she can’t help put them up but she has time to bring them over so I can do it. I ended up buying my own decorations so I could get it done without waiting for her. During this retirement party, V refused to speak to me, look at me, nothing. During the middle of the party, V begins handing out invites to C and L’s wedding. She did not give me or our other sister K one. I didn’t want to say anything in front of my mom on her special day so I kept my mouth shut. Then I overhear K and V talking. V told K that she would be next up on the invite list if someone couldn’t come. I was then told that L was having a bridal shower the next day and that I was invited to that but not the wedding. I’d like to add in that me and V talked everyday until this point. I helped throw her daughter’s bridal shower, I met up with her often, there was no reason for me to be left out at this point. The ahole part: Not my finest hour but in a hurt state, I took to the Instagram, made a private story where only V, A, C, L and my other nephew could see it. I posted: “it’s very rude to pass out wedding invites when you know not everyone will be invited” and another one saying “it’s tacky and inappropriate to invite people to a bridal shower when they aren’t invited to the wedding. Learn some etiquette." I woke up the next morning to my phone being blown up, rightfully so. They stated that it was not right for me to post on Instagram. I immediately apologized and admitted my wrong."AITA for publicly explaining wedding etiquette and causing family drama?"
A texted me and started berating me. I explained my feelings and was told that “this is L and C’s wedding, they can do whatever they want” and I tried explaining that while that is true, at what cost? Feelings were hurt and it sucks.
My sister V began texting my mom and said that she is coming after me, that I am evil and she can’t wait to watch me burn, that she is going to find my boyfriend and make up lies about me to get him to dump me, expose my childhood trauma, etc.
A must have spoken with her mother because she began texting me all this too, along with “you ruined Christmas forever now because no one likes you and it’s better when you aren’t around." When I told my mom what was being said, she confronted V and V told her I was a liar and that A never said that.
I provided receipts and nothing has been said since. My mom is distraught with the drama. I know that I basically started it but was I that much of an ahole to get threatened and told no one likes me? AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Wombat_Sprinkle said:
Am I the only one who finds it really hard to follow when people use letters instead of names? lol. Anyway, NTA. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this drama. V sounds unhinged.
Scarlet_Lycoris said:
ESH. Y’all need to properly communicate with one another. Giving someone the silent treatment is what 10 year olds do. And passing out invites in front of others when excluding some people is sh%tty.
Making passive aggressive Instagram posts however is also how teenagers articulate. Your feelings were hurt and that’s understandable. But you need to communicate your feelings directly, not like this.
Stellanboll said:
NTA - If this story is true, why would you even want these people in your life? They seem awful.
Laines_Ecossaises said:
NTA. At the very least your sister is rude and tacky.. I think she leans far more to being unhinged with that tirade and her lying. You said nothing that wasn't absolutely true, and you did not do it publicly you only included those involved.
I_Will_in_Me_Hole said:
ESH - The answer is to keep calm and not to try and "punish" or make other people see the error of their ways somehow. Assumptions were made that shouldn't have been. What you did was take a situation and deliberately add more drama to it.
HappySummerBreeze said:
Yta posting grievances on social media is so incredibly cheap and tacky. Were you reasonable to feel hurt and offended? Sure. Could you have give your aunt a piece of your mind in person? Maybe. But that’s where it ends.
Don’t do that again. Call up the couple on the phone and play nice. Explain that your feelings were hurt and you are sorry. Send a text and say “I’d like to apologize properly. Are you free for me to call you now?” Then voice call.
Possible-Compote2431 said:
ESH I swear you people just keep making up events to get gifts - bridal shower!!!! No thanks.
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